Greetings weary internet traveller. There are only two reasons you’re searching for a loaded bloody mary recipe, and that’s because you’re either currently nursing a dirty hangover, or you’re prepreparing for feeling dusty – and possibly hosting a bunch of other dusty people for brunch.
Maybe it’s a day-after-the-wedding brunch, or a holiday weekend away? Who knows? Well, actually – you know.
Now you may wonder why food bloggers feel the need to write a short novel before every loaded bloody mary recipe they post. It’s got to do with this whole SEO hoo-ha, so just bear with me while I tell my origin story and the story of how this insane cocktail came to be.
Kidding, I am about as enthusiastic about writing that, as you are about reading it. So – just do me a solid and hang out on this page for as long as possible before scrolling down to read my LOADED BLOODY MARY RECIPE.
Now, just so I can meet the word count and keyword quota, here are the lyrics to Lake of Fire, slightly changed for your entertainment.
Lake Of Fire
Nirvana
What do bad folks drink when they die?
They don’t gulp a pilsner where the angels fly
They drink a hot lake of fire and (air) fry
Loaded Bloody Mary recipe – all-right.
I knew a lady who came from the coast
Bit by a hangover that hurt the most
She went to Aldi and bought a bunch of crap
stuck in in the airfryer and that was that
What do bad folks drink when they die?
They don’t have a coctail where the angels fly
They drink a hot lake of fire and fry
Loaded Bloody Mary recipe – all-right.
People cry and people moan
Look for a dry place to call their home
Try to find someplace to rest their bones
But the headache is never gunna leave them alone
What do bad folks drink when they die?
They don’t have a seltzer where the angels fly
They drink a hot lake of fire and fry
Loaded Bloody Mary recipe – all-right.
What is a loaded bloody mary?
It’s an insane drink, created by someone who probably should get a health check – and a head check asap. Based on the traditional bloody mary recipe, and influenced by everything that is wrong with this world. See also; cheeseburger spring rolls.
I’m sorry in advance if you have a refined palette and are very up on the fashionable or highbrow foods of this world, I also feel the need to let you know that you’re probably in the wrong corner of the internet (see fairy bread cupcakes if you need further convincing.)
Loaded Bloody Mary Recipe
Yield 5 Drinks
Ingredients
1 litre of tomato juice
200ml vodka
60ml lemon juice
A few shakes of Worcestershire sauce
A few shakes of Tobasco sauce
A pinch of salt and white pepper
Garnish
BBQ skewers
onion rings
stuffed peppers
olives
prawns
pickles
waffle fries
mini arancini balls
streaky bacon
celery
Instructions
- Cook the onion rings, prawns, waffle fries, arancini balls and bacon. I used an airfryer because airfryers are LIFE.
- Pour all of the cocktail ingredients into a large jug over ice and stir. If you don’t want it too spicy, go easy on the Tabasco sauce.
- Now thread all of the garnishes onto skewers, just whack them on, it's not going to be perfect looking, but it will taste bloody (mary) good.
- Strain the ice as you pour the Bloody Mary into glasses, add the celery and bacon stirrers and the loaded skewers.
- Enjoy! I mean, hangovers aren't enjoyable but this should do the trick. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Courses Brunch
Cuisine Bogan
