I just spent a weekend away at a bloggy conference and came out feeling really clear about one thing. I don’t want to feel like I’m spreading myself thin anymore. I want to spread myself thicker.
Funny thing is I actually don’t think I got that message from any one of the talks. And there were lots of really amazing and inspirational people banging on about all sorts of stuff. And it was all good stuff. But I just don’t want to do it all.
I have been trying to simplify my life a bit lately, culling crap, not partaking in crap, not cooking crap for every man and his dog. And it has made me feel so much more on top of, well, life. So I thought I would tell you guys my top tips for spreading myself a little thicker, and maybe you could tell me yours?
1) Say no, just say it. You can always change your mind and do it anyway. But learning how to say it in the first place is the most useful (and clichéd) advice I have ever taken onboard. Once you learn how to say no, learn how to stop offering everything all the time. Because us people pleasers really are our own worst enemy.
2) Find moments to breathe. While the kettle is boiling, while you’re waiting for a little human to put their shoes on, all those little tidbits of time that you NEED to use. Just stop and fill your belly with air. Then you will find yourself wondering how long you have been holding your breath for.
3) Multitasking can go to hell. Enough, just do one thing at a time and do it well. Unitasking is the new black and it may even make you happier according to this study.
4) If you don’t love it, let it go. If you find playgroup boring, don’t do it. If you are a business person who doesn’t like networking, Find another way to connect. If you loathe putting away washing, just stop. The world will not stop turning. My mum never put away washing, we just went to the laundry room when we needed clean clothes and got them. I thought that was how every family worked.
5) Listen to music, have a bath, bake a cake, jump on the trampoline. Life is bloody short. Too short. If it reminds you that you’re alive. Do it.
6) Spend more time with the people who bring you joy. Maybe that’s yourself, maybe that’s your dog, maybe it’s your sister. But love on them hard and do it often.
7) Ask for help, not in a desperate kind of way, but in a, could you do me a favour and bring some fairy bread and juice to the party instead of a prezzie? And if they say no, High five them for being awesome at saying no. It’s not easy to do.
8) Cancel plans, chuck a sickie, have a PJ day, do toast for dinner. Don’t commit to any new side projects for a month. It’s ok. Chances are, no one cares anyway.
9) Focus on action, get shit done and ignore the rest. Do what you do, do it well, write lists, tick them off. And minimise your information consumption. Inspiration and learning are THE BEST! But they mean shit if you don’t action those new skills.
10) Now that you are saying no and chucking sickies you can actually give again. So give what you can, help when you can – give your time to worthy peeps. It will bring you joy, it will bring them joy, it will make your world nicer. Dooooo it.
11) Get up early. Wake intentionally, do yoga, have an Irish coffee, wash your hair, eat chocolate before the kids get up. Whatever is going to make you feel good, do that.
(this motto has been turned into a free printable. Grab it here)